Currently I’m navigating through the process of being out of work. For 12 years, I’ve been the sole provider for our family, and our provision has always come through the work that I’ve done.

But now, there’s no income, and every day I’m working hard at doing a job.

But nobody pays me to look for a job. It’s a lot of work without a lot of return.

Some days it feels completely draining, and terribly discouraging. Will this email work, will this connection have a job that they can introduce me to, will this resume sound better to the computer than the last one?

Can I even get an interview?

These are questions I’m dealing with every day. I wake up at 5 am, like I always did when I had a job, but I know that I could do my normal morning routine at 8 am or even 10 am.

There’s no difference when you have nowhere to be.

It seems pretty down and dark, yet this is how it feels as I’m working to find a job, working on my ability to write—learning to be vulnerable.

Some days are harder than others, and yet every day has the opportunity to be worse or better than the day before. 

Yesterday was a long day, but incredibly encouraging.

I read in Never Eat Alone, Keith Ferrazzi brings up the case study that 56% of people find a new job through connections. Fifty-six percent! That’s the highest percentage against any other medium of job looking, which also included job websites (like Indeed, LinkedIn, etc) and head hunters. 

Connections matter more than the people who do that job for a living.

So filling out applications all day definitely did not seem encouraging anymore.

But every time I reach out to a friend or contact they say, “fill out the application.” Both are needed, yet, it’s always through relationships that things get done.

I’m working on being better with stewarding the network of people I’ve been given. There’s always something to work on, and I know that during this season, people have been my greatest sense of encouragement. 

Connections matter more than the people who do that job for a living.

Yesterday I decided to put it to the test. I didn’t know what I was doing, but I really wanted to pursue a job at a specific company. I’d only heard that it existed 2 days ago, but their mission and values were right up my alley. I started to look at the people who work there who were 2nd connections, as defined by LinkedIn. Then I found that my previous boss is connected with a board member of the company. 

If I had thought about it, I probably would have asked the question, “What can a board member do to get an introduction to the HR department?” But I didn’t think, and I took a moment of courage to text my old boss and ask for an introduction.

And guess what? He said yes! He asked me what he should ask and then leave the rest to him.

By the end of the day, my resume ended up in this board member’s inbox.

Now, I don’t know where it will go from there, but I know one thing is true, my resume would have stayed on my desktop had I not asked. 

And I felt encouraged.

Then I asked someone else. It was someone that I knew through my family. He happens to be the CEO, but I figured, “Why not?”

And he got back to me. He’s going on vacation for the month, but we’ll connect in April. He also said he’d reach out to the HR department to make an introduction—all on the day before vacation. Everyone who’s ever taken a day, week or in his case 3 weeks of vacation, know that the day before is the busiest day ever.

He did it anyway.

He wouldn’t have if I hadn’t asked, not because he’s not kind, but because he wouldn’t have known I was interested.

Same with my previous boss. He reached out shortly after the layoffs were announced. He offered to help, but I didn’t really know how he could help. Of course he’d make introductions, I just needed to ask.

Yesterday I asked.

During this month of working hard to get a job, I got more done in 1 day of asking people for help, being vulnerable, and reaching out than I had in 3 weeks of intense application work. 

It’s a good kind of humbling—the kind where you know you learned something incredibly valuable—a lesson I can hold onto the rest of my life.

“For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened.”

You might need to get something done today you’ve never done before. My guess is that someone in your network knows how to get it done, and they’d be willing to help.

All you need to do is ask.

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