By Danny Porter

It’s easier not to grow. I’m not talking about how our bodies grow. For the fist 18-25 years of our life, there’s just about nothing that can stop our bodies from growing. And if you think otherwise, go and ask any family with kids. I have 4, ranging from 3 to 10 years old. So, for the last 10 years we’ve constantly had to take inventory of clothing to make sure we’re ready for whenever we’ll need to clothe their next growth spurt.

And then after that, well, growth can happen without being aware it’s happening. You know what I’m talking about. Or, not, but I didn’t realize my metabolism was changing until I was 20 pounds heavier by the end of 12 months of unknown growth. There were probably signs, knowing that my clothes and, (especially pants!) were getting tighter, but I didn’t think anything of it.

Then I realized that I was growing, not in height anymore, but in width. I was unintentionally growing.

How easy it is to grow when we’re not aware of the food we eat. I’ve found I’m much healthier not only by adding the right foods into my diet, but being aware of how many cookies I’ve eaten. When I’m aware of what I’m taking in, then I tend to say no more often. When I’m not aware, I start looking like the shape of what I’ve been eating.

But learning doesn’t come like that. Growing our knowledge, and changing our mindset, doesn’t come unintentionally. Sure, we’re always bombarded by some marketing somewhere, but one day we’ll read one comment and one commentator, but then the next the counter argument and we’ll go back and forth, not actually moving anywhere.

In order for us to move forward with our goals—in building the life we want to live, we have to learn something new. You won’t get to where you want to go by doing nothing. 

If you do, you end up further behind than when you started. If we’re walking along a parade, and decide to stop and buy popcorn from the street vendor, the parade doesn’t stop for us. It keeps going. When we decide to rejoin the parade, we’re not in the same place we started, we’re further back in the pack. The parade has continued to move forward, we stayed stagnant. And now we’re further back.

That’s what happens when we don’t learn. If we decide to rest on our previous knowledge, believing that we know right now about something is all we’ll need to know, we’ll soon discover we’re further behind than others. 

In order to keep moving forward we have to keep learning. And I mean moving forward in whatever goals you’re striving after. If you knew everything about what your goal, then it wouldn’t be a goal anymore, because you would be doing the very thing you set out to do.

I have a goal around writing. I know how to write words on a page, or put together a sentence (sometimes even that can be a stretch). But I don’t know how to consistently write and I’ve in no way published a book. So I set a goal, I’m practicing, and I’m reading and learning from other writers about how to write. 

Learning about how to be successful in your goal helps you achieve your goal.

If your goal is to be more fit this year. It will help you to learn how to build healthy habits so you can be fit. It would benefit you to learn a work out regimen so you can build the right muscles at the right time. Nutrition is key to becoming fit. So you’ll probably need to learn that protein builds muscle and carbohydrates do not. 

Learning will get you closer to achieving your goal this year.

When we discover this, when we learn, we also discover something else. Tension. We’ve created a gap between where we want to be and where we are. That tension can have two effects for you and for me. One, it can keep us from learning. Tension is naturally uncomfortable. And I like to be comfortable. So, if realizing I don’t know something is going to make me uncomfortable, and cause tension, I might choose not to work towards that goal. I don’t want the realization that I don’t know something to impact my standing with those around me.

But it’s okay. We know you don’t know what you need to know. Otherwise, you would know what you don’t know which is keeping you from doing what you want to do. You know?

The other, is a tension that happens in strength training. Resistance comes from the tension that will help us get stronger. Like a rubber band around your waist, pulling you back as you strain forward. The tension that is created is creating muscle helping you to move forward. Without the tension, you won’t grow. Or as Seth Godin wrote in This is Marketing, “Tension can be the tool that moves us.” 

Without the tension of not knowing something, you won’t ever learn the thing you need to learn to achieve the goals you want to achieve.

So we’re given a choice, options if you will. We know that learning helps everyone get better. Not just me, but also those around me. But learning will create tension, causing me to feel uncomfortable. 

Maybe you feel uncomfortable? Or you did in the meeting last week, or as you prepare for the presentation tomorrow. That tension? It’s good. It’s helping grow you into the person you want to be. You don’t want to go and have that conversation with your friend, the one where you ask the deeper questions, not just how’s it going—that’s the tension that will help strengthen you and your relationship.

If you feel tension, continue to keep the line taut.  It doesn’t feel good right now, but the strength it will provide you will help you go further than you ever thought or imagined.

“All effective education creates tension, because just before you learn something, you’re aware you don’t know it (yet).” – Seth Godin